Went to Dr Ho after my last visit two months ago for a follow up on a cyst spotted on my left womb. Back then, he said the cyst could disappear as it could usually appear when a woman is having menstruation. This caused a little worry and I have been praying about it over the past two months

I am back again in the clinic, having missed my last appointment due to heavy work schedule. Dr Ho did a scan and told me that I have endometrsis polyps/ uterine polyps and a fibroid. I was trying to appear strong and not be too reactive about it. I got him to explain to me a little further. He told me that he was not so concerned about the fibroid as it was a growth muscle tissue from the uterus. however, he would like to monitor me on the uterine polys since this may impede me on getting pregnant. The next visit would be in August and we can decide if we will need a surgery after that. Meanwhile, we can continue to try since the poly and fibroid is still small.

Uterine polys upon some research:

•  maybe caused by increase in the estrogen  . Increase in estrogen is in turn caused by stress level or over use of fertility drugs. ( For me, it maybe the formal as work life has been rather stressful and fast paced)
• the symptoms could be excessive bleeding, spotting in between cycles ( which I did have over past month and I thought it could probably be due to the miscarriage happened in February)
• Uterine polys, can be remove by simple D& C ( but not recommended as it might not totally not removed ) . Some recommend that it should be balance with TCM or acumpuncture so that there will be no regrowth of the polys in the future.
•  if it is not removed , it may affect the implantation of the ovum or a cause of future miscarriages. The embroyo may not be able to get the right nutrition as well
• it is usually benign , unless otherwise it can be precancerous or 1in a million times cancerous

After stepping out of the clinic, i began to get worried and more worried, simply because reproductive health wasn't in the best shape this year . And to make matters worse, each clinic visit would be accompanied by some shocking " discoveries" of my womb, my ovaries etc with my heightening desire to have a baby after trying for the past two year. To me, being in pink health is the most important and I seriously do not like to have all these negative symptoms in my body.  I called hubs and a dear friend, as much as i try to be rational about it, I couldnt help it and teared as i relate to them.

Is God trying to teach me to rely more on him and not on my own strength for this conception journey? Is he trying to tell me not to focus on the physical symptoms but on what he can do for me in the spritual realm? He said in his word " No womb shall be barren" and I need to hold on to that promise dearly. I prayed that god will show me a clear direction in what i need to do in my life , especially in the area of work, to get conceive. I need to stand steadfast in his everlasting love and grace, so that my fears of my ability to conceive, my fears of my career, my fears of finance can be all rested in his hands. Dear father, I pray urnestly that you will lead me step by step in making a wise decision for my health and family.